Stephanie Nattaway talks to the photo she has of her daughter Tammy in the hallway of her home in Garden Hill First Nation, urging her to come home or give a clue about where she is.
"I always say 'Try harder. Keep us close and in dreams.' I ask and pray a lot," she said.
"I know it's been too long. She would've been home. I know she would've been home."
It's been four years since Tammy Nattaway, who was 16 at the time, disappeared from the Island Lake region, made up of four fly-in communities in northeastern Manitoba.
Tammy spent her time between two First Nations — Garden Hill, where she lived in foster care, and neighbouring Wasagamack — where her boyfriend and extended family live.
Manitoba RCMP believe she was last seen in Garden Hill in mid-July of 2020, but say it's possible she went to Wasagamack.
Searchers say it's unusual that she went missing without a trace, save for a piece of clothing, and despite exhaustive community-led efforts to find her that haven't let up. Tammy never strayed far from home, according to her mother, and looked out for her younger siblings.
"We never had a wake or funeral for her. We haven't given up searching yet. Can't say goodbye. Can't seem to grow," said Stephanie.
Garden Hill First Nation is offering a $5,000 reward to anyone with information that leads to her being found.
Tammy Nattaway vanished either from Garden Hill First Nation, where she lived, or Wasagamack First Nation. (Submitted by RCMP)Hundreds of searchersFor the past four years, hundreds of searchers from all over Island Lake have scoured both communities — by air, land and water — looking for a trace of Tammy, finding only her sweater two years after she disappeared.
Manitoba RCMP say prior to her disappearance, Tammy sold her phone, which they recovered. In a statement, they said "extensive investigational steps into Tammy's social media activity and online activity have been taken leading up to her disappearance."
RCMP say foul play may be involved in Tammy's disappearance. RCMP's major crime services is leading the investigation.
Tammy was the eldest of nine siblings but had been in foster care in Garden Hill First Nation. She wasn't reported missing to police until July 31, more than a week after she was last reportedly seen.
"I thought she was OK because she was under CFS.… They said she was in good hands. But I don't know why they waited two weeks," said Stephanie.
Island Lake First Nations Family Services has not returned repeated requests for comment.
Tammy Nattaway spent time between her foster home in Garden Hill First Nation and Wasagamack First Nation, where her boyfriend and extended family live. (CBC)Kurt Mason, who is with Garden Hill's search and rescue team, said they've covered "every inch" of the community as well, and the searches continue every summer until freeze-up.
"We dove, we dragged, we used underwater sonars. We used everything. No clue. Nothing," said Mason.
"Tammy went out" is still scrawled in black marker on the front door of her grandmother's house in Wasagamack First Nation.
Lena Harper gazes out her window every night, hoping to see her granddaughter walk up the road again.
"I wish she could just say, 'Kokum, I'm home'," she said.
The last time Lena saw Tammy was in May 2020, before Lena had to leave the community for medical reasons.
She said she wanted Tammy to stay with family during that time, but she was stubborn and wanted to be with her boyfriend.
"She was always at her boyfriend's," she said.
Tammy's boyfriend lived with his grandfather Wallace Harper — who isn't directly related to Lena Harper — in Wasagamack First Nation.
"I didn't want her there. Wallace kept going back to pick her up." said Lena.
Tammy's boyfriend's uncle said he and Tammy had spent the day at his house on July 19, 2020, according to Lena.
Lena Harper, Tammy Nattaway's maternal grandmother, said Tammy visited her home in Wasagamack often and would always yell 'kokum, I love you,' before leaving. (Kevin Nepitabo/CBC)When community members began searching for her and talking about her disappearance, no one ever came forward to say they'd taxied Tammy back to Garden Hill First Nation, Lena said.
"We feel her here. I feel her here," she said.
Rumours in both communities run rampant about what could have happened to Tammy, but Lena believes her granddaughter was the victim of foul play.
"We forgive them. We forgive them. But we want Tammy back. We want to lay her to rest," she said.
House in WasagamackWallace Harper said on occasion, he used to pick Tammy up and bring her to his house in Wasagamack First Nation, with permission from her foster home in Garden Hill. He said Tammy wanted to be with her boyfriend, his 18-year-old grandson who lived with him, and she often asked him if she could stay with them.
Wallace said he can't remember the exact date, but he last saw Tammy "two or three nights" before she went missing, when he said CFS came to pick her up from his house.
"I don't know anything that happened to her. All I know is she was picked up and that was the last time I seen her," he said.
He said when he spoke to his grandson about Tammy's disappearance, "He just kept saying 'I don't know.'" He said they both were interviewed by RCMP.
"I'm just worried about her, I'm worried about where she is. I know what it's like to have somebody missing and not being found," he said, adding his previous wife's father had disappeared years before.
He said he feels Tammy's family blames her disappearance on him because she stayed with him, adding the rumours have almost "ruined his life."
"I can forgive them too. All I know is Tammy is missing. What happened to her, I don't know."
Kurt Mason says it's important for the team to help when a community member goes missing in Island Lake. 'We just want to bring closure to the family,' he says. (Submitted by Kurt Mason)Tammy's mother says she can't move on. She doesn't like the sight of development in either community, as she worries it may disturb a place her daughter is.
"I wake up in the middle of the night, sometimes in a panic, thinking I have to go look over there, I have to look there," said Stephanie.
"I don't know if she's alive or if somebody's holding her captive. Too many thoughts go through my mind. What if a bear ate her, what if she got lost, or hurt and nobody heard her screaming?"
She describes her eldest daughter as a "very quiet girl" who liked to read and could "lighten up your mood at any time."
"She had a soft voice," said Stephanie. "She was very happy. She would bring life to everybody."
Stephanie Nattaway says she's accepted her daughter isn't coming home, but wants information that can allow her to lay her to rest. (Tyson Koschik/CBC)She said she had Tammy at a young age and struggled to raise her children after her partner, who got caught up with alcohol, left them for several years. Despite Tammy being in foster care, Stephanie always maintained a close bond with her, though the circumstances were hard.
"I was under no authority to tell her where to go or where to be, I couldn't just take her. I didn't have a home."
Manitoba RCMP said officers have spoken with more than 150 people, and have followed up on every tip received. Their investigation remains active and ongoing.
"We are waiting for them [RCMP]. It'd be nice to tell us where to look … at least," said search team member Kurt Mason.
"Not the names. Don't tell us who did it, who's being investigated. Tell us where to look. Are we close?"
Mason was involved in the search for 11-year-old Teresa Robsinson when she disappeared in Garden Hill in May 2015, and in the discovery of her remains in a wooded area.
A youth ultimately came forward and pleaded guilty to first-degree murder in her death.
Mason believes someone in Island Lake knows something about what happened to Tammy.
"Tell us. Let us know what happened. So the parents can rest. So the community can rest," he said.
Birthday celebrationEvery June 5, her family comes together at "ground zero," the last concrete sighting in Garden Hill, to celebrate her birthday with a barbecue, cake and prayer.
They released lanterns into the sky and even had a drone show that shone her photo in the sky so it could be seen by both communities.
"She will never be forgotten, and we haven't stopped looking as we continue to search for her," said her father, Bradley Nattaway, who had recovered from his alcoholism and returned to the community and Stephanie Nattaway.
"We ask that the communities continue to pray for her return as the family and the community need closure," he said.
"Doesn't matter who did it, who hurt her or who's hiding her," said Stephanie. "Just bring her home. We just want to put her to rest. That's all we want."